dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
