Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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