the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
