i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
