OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
