there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
