just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
