why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
