4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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