so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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