when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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