like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
