In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
