Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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