Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
