I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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