There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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