some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Randomize
