This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
