im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize