So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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