Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
