I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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