i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
