i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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