you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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