Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
