At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
