the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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