just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
