Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
