How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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