just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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