He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize