But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
