you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
