At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
