its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize