I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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