3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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