okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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