My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
