R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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