so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
