I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
