we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
