take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
