Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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