With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
