just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My vagina is very pro this idea
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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