I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
