ugly people sure do ruin things
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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