the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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