im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
