it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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